Drunkenly Cute Pineapple
by Fire Princess21
Summary: Chrome is ordered to supervise Xanxus as he consumes alcoholic drinks- Levi and Squalo being incapacitated to do the work. Will it end well? Chrome X Xanxus. Not a pairing!


This was written for Great Question's Questionable Crack Pairings.

Pairing: Xanxus/Chrome

Prompt: Cute

Disclaimer: I do not own this awesome anime, Katekyo Hitman Reborn!

* * *

Drunkenly Cute Pineapple

By: Fire Princess21

"It'll be fine Chrome." Tsuna reassured the violet-haired girl who clutched the handles of her overnight bag. Chrome nodded hesitantly.

Tsuna smiled apologetically.

"I'm sorry but you're the only one available to watch him." He explained. "Just for one night, that's all I'm asking." He added pleadingly.

Chrome nodded again, smiling at her boss this time. How could anyone resist his rare requests?

"Hai, Boss. I will do what I can." She answered softly. Tsuna sighed in relief.

"Thank you very much, Chrome! I appreciate your help." He said. Chrome nodded quietly and got in the car. She looked out the window as it left the Vongola Mansion, watching as it faded away into a distance.

It would only be for one night.

How bad could it be?

* * *

Chrome was nervous as the car dropped her off in front of the Varia Mansion.

Though it was a mission that would have been relatively easy to complete, she felt goose bumps on her arms as she thought about it.

She was to accompany –guard rather- the Varia Boss for one night as Squalo was rendered incapable due to an unfortunate accident.

The unfortunate accident resulting to his incapacitation- a result of his recent brawl with Xanxus.

Levi, on the other hand, was also mysteriously incapable of performing the task in Squalo's stead so the other Varia members asked help from the Vongola due to their refusal to deal with their temperamental boss.

Much was discussed about the task- or mission, as they'd like to call it as facing Xanxus was equally dangerous- and in the end, it was Chrome who ended up with the job.

Gokudera was not an option as he was temperamental himself. Ryohei, even more so, with his 'extreme' ways. Yamamoto could not be reached at the moment, being away on a mission. Hibari wouldn't have anything to do with it and Lambo was just too young and immature.

Which left Chrome as the only suitable candidate for the 'mission'.

The mission: Accompany Xanxus in one of his drinking sessions.

That _should _be easy enough for Chrome. Her quiet nature and timid ways allowing her not to be a nuisance but she _did not _drink.

And there lay the problem.

She was assured, though, that all she would really have to do was to simply watch Xanxus and ensure that he doesn't consume more than two bottles of wine as they were bad for his already sour attitude.

She could do that. No problem.

Taking a deep breath, she stepped out of the car as they had already arrived and walked up the stairs.

She was greeted by a certain shaggy-haired blond wearing a tiara on his head and the standard Vaira uniform.

"Ushishishishishi… The pineapple head female is here." Belphegor said, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed. Chrome looked at him and bowed slightly.

"U-Uh, h-hello…" she murmured softly, looking the floor. Belphegor stood up and started to walk. He turned his head back to look at her and said, "Follow me."

Chrome hurried to trail behind him.

After being led from corridor to corridor, they finally stopped in front of a double-door.

Belphegor lifted a hand to the knob but paused as he looked back at Chrome again.

"You'll be briefed before you meet the boss." He said and turned the knob. She followed him inside.

On the sofa in the spacious room, Mammonn sat on Fran's lap, his baby- face unreadable. Lussuria was on one end of the room, arranging the flowers. He turned at the sound of their entrance. He smiled warmly at Chrome.

"Chrome-chaaaann!" he said in a sing-song voice, clasping his hands together. "How wonderful of you to make it!"

Chrome smiled hesitantly.

"Hello, Chrome-sempai." Fran greeted with a deadpan expression. Mammon's face remained impassive- though you couldn't tell as half of it was covered by his hat.

"Ushishishi.. Sit down and let's start before boss gets too drunk." Belphegor said, indicating a chair across Fran and Mammon. Chrome sat down. She looked around the spacious room once more, covered in all the glamour money could buy before she settled her gaze on the four remaining Varia members.

It certainly seemed odd with Squalo and Levi not around.

Lussuria spoke first as he sat down on the couch.

"Sorry for dragging you here, Chrome-chan!" he apologized first. "Squalo's in a really bad shape after boss beat him up and he refused to be healed by me. He said his hair was growing longer than he could manage…" Lussuria trailed off as if he was hurt. Chrome blinked, remembering well the healing ability the Varia Sun Guardian had.

She vaguely wondered if that was the reason why Squalo had such beautiful long silver hair that was the envy of a few females.

Lussuria continued after the short pause.

"We decided to call you here as no one else is suitable enough to deal with boss!" he said cheerily, after regaining his spirit.

"A-Ano… What about Levi-san?" Chrome asked quietly. She thought about how the man was devoted- soul and body- to Xanxus and wondered yet again why _he_ wasn't the one doing her job.

"Oh, that. Well, Levi isn't doing well either. He got nasty third degree burns and I refuse to heal someone who is an eyesore to my beauty!" he replied with a haughty gesture.

"H-How…?" Chrome asked timidly.

"Well, you know how flammable paint thinners are." Fran answered with a deadpan expression still. "Levi was doing an idiotic painting of our boss as a tribute to him but when the monkey king saw it, he burned it with his dying will flames. The cans of turpentine were nearby and it caught fire so Levi was included in the explosion." There was a slight pause before Fran added,

"Though I think boss was trying to burn him too."

Chrome blinked in surprise.

Guess this was standard affair for the Varia.

"W-What should I do?" she asked softly.

Lussuria put a finger under his chin and tilted his head to the side.

"Well... Considering the boss is angry at everyone, there's really nothing you can do. Just sit there, don't say a word and try not to look at him." Lussuria said finally. "You can do that, can't you?" he asked doubtfully. Chrome nodded. Lussuria clapped his hands in glee.

"Okay then!" He said and stood up from the couch. "Let's go!"

Chrome stood up and followed Lussuria out of the room.

She heard Fran say a 'good luck' after her.

* * *

"There's the boss." Lussuria whispered as he stuck his head in the room where it was supposedly a mini-bar. He opened the door wider for Chrome and smiled at her.

"Good luck, dear!" he said. Chrome walked in and Lussuria shut the door behind him as she did. She gulped.

It was just her and the lion.

She walked towards the bar and stopped when Xanxus faced her from his seat on a bar stool.

His eyes were narrowed and he was already glaring at her in the dim light of the place.

"Trash." He sneered. "What are you doing here? Were you ordered by that trash boss of yours to guard me?" he asked.

Chrome winced at the insult but said nothing. She stood in her place because of fear while Xanxus stared at her for a moment before speaking again.

"Sit here." He ordered, indicating a bar stool a seat apart from him. She sat down and stared at the bottles of liquor in front of her. There was no bartender in sight.

She looked at the different names of vintage wines at the shelves to distract herself and jumped slightly when Xanxus addressed her.

"Trash," he said. "Why are you here?"

"B-Boss told me to look after you." She said softly, clutching the cloth of her dress on her lap. That was the best way to surmise what her mission was.

"That trash thinks _I_ need someone guarding me?" he sneered maliciously. "He thinks _I'm_ weak just because he's the Vongola boss and _I'm_ not?"

Chrome winced again at his tone but felt a bit of bitterness. Her boss was kind-hearted. She couldn't let Xanxus step all over him.

"Boss is only thinking of your welfare." She said softly but determinedly. "He doesn't mean to insult you."

"That Sawada kid is thinking of _my_ welfare?" he said in mockery. "Che. Tell that to some other trash who believes it. I'm not weak and soft like him."

"Boss cares about everyone. That's what makes him strong. His heart if filled with love. Even for his enemies." Chrome said in indignation, her soft tone rising slightly.

Xanxus raised one eyebrow. That was a rare thing. And so was Chrome's outburst. He swirled the liquor in his glass and Chrome noticed that the first bottle of wine was about to be finished. She spoke again.

"Boss says you aren't supposed to drink more than a two bottles a day." She said.

There was a pause as Xanxus stopped the glass that he was about to tip into his mouth. He set it down and looked at Chrome in scrutiny.

"That trash must be feeding you something to make you stronger." He said finally. Chrome blushed slightly at her daring.

"Boss is kind. He doesn't deserve to be insulted." She replied.

"Che. He's weak." Xanxus countered, taking a gulp of his wine. "He teaches his subordinates to be weak like him by not killing his enemies."

"He cares for his subordinates." She protested. "Not like you. You treat them with hate."

Xanxus took another swig of his wine before he answered.

"Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck." He answered. "They learn to deal with it."

"They deserve kindness too."

"We won't be the Varia unless we become who we are."

"By treating them like the trash you say they are?"

Xanxus looked at her again. Taking another spare wine glass, he tipped the rest of the contents of the bottle into it and shoved it to Chrome. She looked at him in surprise.

"Drink it." He said. "You've earned it, trash."

Chrome stared at the drink. He hesitated, her hand stopping just inches from the stem of the wine glass. One drink won't hurt, will it? Besides, Xanxus was ordering her to drink it. It was better if she'd follow him.

Taking the glass in her small grasp, she drank down the wine and immediately felt warmth spread through her.

It was sweet and bitter at the same time, but it tasted nice. Gulping down the last drop of wine, she handed her glass back to Xanxus.

"More please."

They continued like that for some time, Chrome asking for more and Xanxus pouring her the wine. They drank in silence and eventually, Chrome's low alcohol tolerance level caught up with her. Her head started to sway unsteadily and Xanxus noticed.

"You're drunk." He stated. He noted that she was in the danger of falling off her chair.

She hiccupped and said in a slurred way, "I swear to drunk I'm not god!"

Xanxus's eyebrow twitched. He watched as she almost toppled over her seat before her head slumped on the table, unconscious.

Looking at her for a few seconds, he observed her even breathing come and go and noted that the pineapple hairstyle inspired by Mukuro suited her quite well. She looked like a drunk cute purple pineapple, in fact.

"Cute." He murmured, too soft for anyone to hear. His eyes widened when the word came out of his mouth. Maybe he_ was_ drunk after all. He stood up and when he passed her, hesitated for a moment, before he put his black jacket around her, covering her as she slept.

As he left the room, he almost collided into Tsuna who looked as if he had been standing there for a period of time. Tsuna backed away in fear, a small "Hiiee!" could be heard as he did.

Tsuna had finished his paperwork in record time and had come to fetch Chrome himself. He was deciding whether or not to just go in when Xanxus came out.

"X-Xanxus, he stuttered. Xanxus walked past him and glanced back as Tsuna ran in the room, shouting Chrome's name.

"Che. Trash." He muttered as he left.

* * *

This sucks. I know. Criticize, if you want, please. I've never written Xanxus or Chrome before so they're out of character and I apologize for that. Please leave a review!

Thank you for reading!


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